I took an unplanned break from posting. It all started when I broke my cell phone, which contained all my notes and Bible verses that I had saved. That may seem like a lazy excuse, but it threw me off my game.
The reality is that I think I was already looking for a reason to hide away for a while.
It turned into a break from a lot of things. Some of it I needed a break from and some of it was completely unnecessary. But it happened anyway… and here I am again!
I am happy to be back in time for the new year.
Not that it means anything special. It’s just that this year has been one of the hardest years of my entire life.
I’m over 2016 on so many levels.
I’ve been thinking about everything I’ve been through this year. Although much of it was difficult for me, I learned a lot about myself and about the people around me.
I’ve seen things about myself that I don’t like and I’ve withdrawn from people in fear that they would reject me.
I’ve had moments where I wished I was anyone except myself.
I even had a moment where I was tired of being a Christian because I was sick of feeling like I wasn’t good enough. Thank God that thought didn’t stick!
My prayers became less about asking God to fix me and more about asking Him to give me understanding of who He is.
My view of others is now more of unconditional love and compassion instead of unrighteous judgements.
I’ve seen prayers I’ve prayed for years answered in ways that I never expected.
I’ve made decisions solely based on the leading of the Holy Spirit and went against everything that looked right in the natural to do so.
I’ve accepted that I can’t always be right and learned how to ask for advice without fear of being criticized.
I’ve felt loved in the middle of me not loving myself, without ever saying a word about it to the people showing me that love.
I had the best birthday (my birthday is in December) and Christmas this year all because God revealed himself through the guiding of the Holy Spirit in me and the love of my friends.
And I’ve come to appreciate my life for what it is even if it isn’t what I thought it would be at this point.
God has done a huge work in my heart, and it continues.
I want 2017 to be about my full submission to the Holy Spirit. I want to crave His word and His love every moment of every day.
I want everything I think and do to operate out of communion with the Holy Spirit.
That is my one and only New Year’s resolution!
Romans 8:5-6 NLT
Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.
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